​Is frustration on the rise?

I am seeing more and more cases of dogs that struggle with frustration.  This is often seen by dogs barking and lunging towards other dogs or people.  This frustration response to due to the dog not being able to do the action they want.  In lots of cases this is due to the dogs desperately wanting to interact with the other dog.  Their expectation is that they will meet and play with other dogs, and when they cannot, they display their frustration through, what looks to most, like aggression; barking, lunging, growling etc.  This of course makes the other dog owner move away from this ‘out of control’ dog, which increases the dog’s frustration as the thing they wanted to interact with is getting further away! 

Raising a young dog is hard work.  Finding the right balance of socialising your dog so they are confident in social situations with other dogs and people but also not to allow them to be ‘over social’ and expect that each and every dog and person wants to interact with them.  I use the term 'over social’ as to me this describes some dogs that expect that each dog wants to be their new best friend.  They cannot understand why a dog would not want to play and often can pester and be rude with their manners and body language.  You will hear owners apologising saying something like “they just want to say hello”. 

I believe we are setting our dogs up to fail.  I think for some, going on a dog walk always involves interacting with other dogs and therefore we are setting our dogs expectation that walks mean social time.  When I am walking my dogs, I want them to want to play with me!  To engage with me and play different sorts of games together.  Yes of course, sometime my dogs meet other dogs, but their meeting is brief and I encourage them to just walk past.  Now with an 8-month-old puppy, this is certainly a challenge.  He is at the stage where his desire to be social is increasing.  As a teenager I also know that some dogs will really find him offensive and at 24kg he is a big dog with long legs so I know to some he will be intimidating with his bounciness.  This means when I am walking him in areas where there are other dogs, he needs to be under control.  Using a long line sometimes or giving enough space where I know he can still listen to me.  I don’t want him to learn that he gets to play with other dogs without me knowing this will be received well by the other dog.  Even then, even if every dog we met was a lovely sociable playful dog, I still wouldn’t allow him to interact with them.  I don’t want to set up that expectation in him.

I need to get a little controversial...I do think that the rise in doggy day care might not be helping this issue.  Before anyone shouts at me, I know lots of brilliant people that run excellent dog walking and day care businesses, however I do think that teaching your dog that they can just play all day with all the dogs they meet, might not be best for them.  I love that we now have options with professionals helping us look after our dogs.  It means more people can have dogs that have work or other life commitments, so this isn’t that I don’t like the services now available.  However, I do meet some dogs that have spent a lot of time in day care and some of these dogs definitely struggle more with frustration issues around other dogs.  Has this made a difference to our dogs’ expectations? 

I run a Foundations & Focus programme for adolescents and rescue dogs, and we have an off lead social group each month, so that dogs can have appropriate off lead play with suitable other dogs.  I also have my DOG Hub membership group, which allows dogs (and owners) to become friends and they also have some play time together.  I think there is nothing more joyful that seeing dogs play with each other, running around and having a great time.  This is an important part of their development, however if not managed well, I do think too much off lead play with dogs can have a negative impact.  What do you think? 

I don’t always get it right. Bramley (my pup) has definitely been annoying to some dogs, and I will always tell you the truth about the mistakes I make, but my aim is to set my dogs up for success and to keep focusing on the adult dog that I want him to be.  Each dog is different and therefore the journey will be different, but do try to think ahead and plan your training accordingly.  

​Jo x